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Easter illuminates the most beautiful example of love and sacrifice, showing us exactly what love looks like through Jesus’ selfless act on the cross. It’s a season that invites us to pause and deeply consider how this pure expression of love shapes our understanding of both love and being loved in healthy ways.
Jesus’ demonstration of love and his manifestation of the fruits of the spirit present the clearest examples of what love looks like. In fact, the fruits of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) guided me in discerning potential partners before I married my wonderful husband.
Let’s talk about how Jesus’ ultimate act of love on the cross teaches us about true love, explore the beautiful qualities of love outlined in Galatians 5:22-23, and share some practical advice on identifying and nurturing healthy relationships. Our journey is about drawing closer to understanding the genuine essence of love and how to embrace it fully in our lives.
The Ultimate Act of Love
Easter is a beautiful reminder of Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice-dying on the cross for our sins. I know we hear the “Easter story” many times year after year, but let’s not let what our Saviour did for us ever dull our gratitude.
I can’t think of a more selfless act of love than another person dying for me.
That sacrifice is mind-boggling!
Jesus was without fault or blame, yet endured torture and abuse so that both you and I could be free forever.
He set the standard for love and sacrifice impeccably high, and I don’t expect us mere humans to ever exceed or ever match what He did.
But what he did on the cross, and Jesus’ character, are what we can reference when we want to understand what love looks like. This is even more true when you want to determine if a man is spirit led and trying to live a godly life.
Understanding Love Through the Lens of Galatians 5:22-23
As I mentioned previously, the fruits of the spirit were my go-to criteria for assessing a man’s relationship with God and his spiritual maturity, especially after experiencing an abusive relationship that left me doubting my ability to judge character accurately.
Let’s review what the fruits of the spirit are:
“But the fruit of the Spirit [the result of His presence within us] is love [unselfish concern for others], joy, [inner] peace, patience [not the ability to wait, but how we act while waiting], kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 AMP
These fruits are key in discerning someone’s character because they are evidence of His presence within us. This means that a person cannot just talk the talk, but they need to walk the walk (in the spirit!), and walk with spiritual CONSISTENCY.
A Guide for What Love Looks Like
Let’s dive deeper into the fruits of the spirit and gain a clearer picture of what they look like in everyday life. Remember that these qualities are reflected in a person’s actions and not just their words.
Love
As Christians, we are very familiar with 1 Corinthians 13 as it outlines a detailed biblical description of what love is. A man who genuinely reflects love shows it through consistent actions and selflessness towards others. He prioritizes the well-being of his loved ones and demonstrates love not just in words but in deeds.
Joy
A joyful person spreads positivity and happiness in their relationships. They approach life with a sense of gratitude and can uplift those around them, even in challenging times. Joy is not the same as happiness. Happiness is an emotion that can come and go based on circumstances. Joy is an inner peace and a choice we make daily.
Peace
Someone who carries peace, tranquillity and harmony in their interactions. They work towards understanding and compromise, avoiding unnecessary conflict. Peace-filled people don’t like drama.
Kindness
Kind individuals are considerate and generous in their actions. They perform acts of kindness without expecting anything in return, making their loved ones feel valued and appreciated.
Goodness
Goodness is evident in those who choose to do the right thing, even when it’s hard. They act with integrity and moral clarity, guiding their relationships with honesty and trust.
Faithfulness
Faithful people are reliable and loyal. They commit to their relationships, stand by their promises, and support their partners through thick and thin.
Gentleness
Gentleness is shown by those who approach others with care and understanding. They are mindful of their words and actions, ensuring they do not harm others emotionally or physically. To learn more about the different types of abuse and red flags in a relationship click here.
They are mindful of their words and actions, ensuring they do not harm others emotionally or physically.
Self-Control
Individuals with self-control manage their impulses and emotions well. They avoid actions that could negatively impact their relationships, demonstrating maturity and respect for their partners. Abusive people claim they have no self-control. This is not true. They are selective when they turn their self-control on and off. Often it’s turned on when people (not you) are watching.
The Fruits of the Spirit in a Godly Man
Using the fruits of the spirit as a compass, I learned to discern the true character of potential partners. A godly man will have:
Love
He shows unconditional support and care for you, wanting the best for you without expecting anything in return. He tries his best to show you unconditional love (knowing no one is perfect and needs growth) just as Jesus shows us.
Joy
Shares happiness and uplifts you, even in challenging times.
Peace
He maintains harmony, communication and understanding in the relationship. He aims to resolve conflicts with calm and respect.
Patience
He gives you time to grow and heal and understands that personal development is a journey. He can show composure while waiting and doesn’t feel the need to be dramatic or explosive if things don’t go his way.
Kindness
He shows thoughtfulness and consideration through small acts of love, like preparing a meal or offering words of encouragement. He shows kind behaviour and acts towards you and other people.
Goodness
He values integrity and honesty, always choosing to do what is right for the relationship. He wants to please God first and foremost.
Faithfulness
He is committed to you. He demonstrates loyalty and trustworthiness. If he can be faithful in the small, he will be faithful with the big things in life.
Gentleness
He approaches you with care and compassion, especially when dealing with your or others’ vulnerabilities or mistakes.
Self-Control
He manages emotions and desires in a way that honours the relationship. He avoids actions that could harm you or the bond you share.
No One is Perfect
No man is perfect, and imperfections are part of being human.
However, a consistent pattern of behaviour, values, and a life lived in alignment with God’s teachings are indicators of a godly man’s true nature.
Just like you, he is a work in progress, but should already have maturity in numerous of these areas. You need a godly man, not a project to build and correct.
It’s natural to feel anxious or overwhelmed by the concept of healthy love, especially after past traumas. I understand your fears. I encourage you to pray, surrendering to God’s will on this journey of healing and discovery.
Find other Christian influences that you trust who can help you. I spent time on YouTube researching how to recognize a godly man, how I can attract one and how I could be a more godly woman. I like the videos by Rebecca Lynn Pope and RC Blakes Jr. They both have many videos online that helped me!
You can also find connections and support in online or in-person survivor support groups. To join our private Facebook group click here and please answer all 3 questions to be accepted.
Journal your progress and what you are learning and experiencing. This is an excellent way to track your thoughts, emotions, your experiences and your successes. I like to look back in my journals to see how far I have come. I feel like I am moving forward, especially on the days I feel stuck.
So what does love look like? Simply put, love looks like Jesus. Love looks like his unfailing love for you, and His sacrificial demonstration of it on the cross.
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We are stronger together.
He is faithful,
